Too Much Information (TMI)
Over the past few years, I’ve come across an increasing number of posts from people who share a lot of private stories on their blogs. I’m all grown up and I’ve lived a reasonably interesting life, yet I still find myself surprised when bloggers write personal, sensitive information that isn’t even about them—it’s about someone they know.
When I set up my own blog last June, I was completely unaware that the coming summer would be a non-stop series of new beginnings, painful endings, major happenings, funny mistakes, completely avoidable mistakes, one-of-a-kind blessings, and unexpected deaths.
I want to tell you everything.
More times than I can count, I've set my fingers on this very keyboard with the intention of sharing with you stories about a summer that no one could have predicted. Through my flashbacks-in-the-form-of-blog-postings, I could have given you fantastic evidence that humans are curious creatures.
What stopped me?
The stories weren’t mine to tell.
I would like to point out that my lack of story ownership didn’t diminish the intensity of my urge to record the events. Not at first, anyway.
One night, a couple months back, I had nearly finished a post (which can take hours) before coming to terms with the fact that I would not be adding it to my blog. In the post, I was using my insider knowledge to recount a series of connected events that had unfolded the previous week.
It was an interesting story—and none of my business.
It is healthy to use words to cleanse one’s soul or heart by releasing heavy or misplaced burdens from tired shoulders, and I’ve come across hauntingly honest posts from men and women who are keeping to that purpose with their blogs. I applaud the strength of these individuals, and admire their commitment to total honesty.
They are relaying details of their personal struggles. They are healing, not engaging in TMI.
But I almost did. Let me give in to my terrible itch to share, and sum it up this way: this past summer was a quixotic mix of extreme highs and lows. It brings to mind the title of a particular James Bond film, Never Say Never Again.
I feel better now.
Back in June, I combed the internet searching for best practices guidelines for newbie bloggers. While I never found exactly what I was looking for, I did come away from my research with an understanding of how best to proceed.
The key, I discovered, was to clearly define the purpose of the blog—and then stick to it. I decided to keep my focus centered on self-publishing, and to restrict references about my personal life to stories and details that were in keeping with this theme.
Of course, that didn’t mean I couldn’t have a little fun.
One particular blog post, Single and Looking, had an astounding number of hits the day it went up. I suppose readers were expecting some sort of modified eHarmony-type description about the perfect man for me, plus maybe a mea culpa for all my past dating mistakes, just for good measure.
Aww, hope they weren’t too disappointed to find out it was about new authors looking for readers. My blog is about books, after all.
But I digress.
In the end, I decided to conjure up a few fake “what if” scenarios to help me make a decision about where to draw the line between appropriate communications, and TMI. Here is what I came up with:
Scenario 1: No one reads my book, so no one cares what I post on my blog. Obviously, this pathetic excuse is completely lacking in the self-esteem department. If I don’t believe in the value of my work, absolutely, positively, no one else will.
Scenario 2: I think the movie Fletch is absurd. I like to play Christmas music all year round. I am obsessed with antique quilts. I have a recurring nightmare about being trapped in an elevator with an angry bee. What do any of those things have to with a blog about the business end of self-publishing? Yep, you guessed it. A big fat nothing.
Scenario 3: My book sells in wild, unimaginably high numbers. Some interviewer digs up an old post and asks me on live television if I still refer to my sister’s menstruation cycle as “shark week.” While my book sales don’t seem to be affected, my extended family holds a secret meeting and votes unanimously to stick me with Thanksgiving dish duty for the rest of my life. Did I mention there are forty-three of us?
Scenario 4: Instead of confining my impressions of an event to a blog post, elements of what happened become the basis for an entire novel. While not all that’s told is meant to be a story, all stories are meant to be told. Honor the difference, and then get thee to a keyboard.
Are you a self-published author thinking about creating a blog? Remember to plan ahead, and to clearly define your goals and boundaries. Use discretion, kindness, and your smarts.
When temptation runs its practiced hand over the soft spot in your willpower, remember these imaginary words from the real Elizabeth Taylor: “Diamonds, and the internet, are forever.”
How do you want your forever to read?
When I set up my own blog last June, I was completely unaware that the coming summer would be a non-stop series of new beginnings, painful endings, major happenings, funny mistakes, completely avoidable mistakes, one-of-a-kind blessings, and unexpected deaths.
I want to tell you everything.
More times than I can count, I've set my fingers on this very keyboard with the intention of sharing with you stories about a summer that no one could have predicted. Through my flashbacks-in-the-form-of-blog-postings, I could have given you fantastic evidence that humans are curious creatures.
What stopped me?
The stories weren’t mine to tell.
I would like to point out that my lack of story ownership didn’t diminish the intensity of my urge to record the events. Not at first, anyway.
One night, a couple months back, I had nearly finished a post (which can take hours) before coming to terms with the fact that I would not be adding it to my blog. In the post, I was using my insider knowledge to recount a series of connected events that had unfolded the previous week.
It was an interesting story—and none of my business.
It is healthy to use words to cleanse one’s soul or heart by releasing heavy or misplaced burdens from tired shoulders, and I’ve come across hauntingly honest posts from men and women who are keeping to that purpose with their blogs. I applaud the strength of these individuals, and admire their commitment to total honesty.
They are relaying details of their personal struggles. They are healing, not engaging in TMI.
But I almost did. Let me give in to my terrible itch to share, and sum it up this way: this past summer was a quixotic mix of extreme highs and lows. It brings to mind the title of a particular James Bond film, Never Say Never Again.
I feel better now.
Back in June, I combed the internet searching for best practices guidelines for newbie bloggers. While I never found exactly what I was looking for, I did come away from my research with an understanding of how best to proceed.
The key, I discovered, was to clearly define the purpose of the blog—and then stick to it. I decided to keep my focus centered on self-publishing, and to restrict references about my personal life to stories and details that were in keeping with this theme.
Of course, that didn’t mean I couldn’t have a little fun.
One particular blog post, Single and Looking, had an astounding number of hits the day it went up. I suppose readers were expecting some sort of modified eHarmony-type description about the perfect man for me, plus maybe a mea culpa for all my past dating mistakes, just for good measure.
Aww, hope they weren’t too disappointed to find out it was about new authors looking for readers. My blog is about books, after all.
But I digress.
In the end, I decided to conjure up a few fake “what if” scenarios to help me make a decision about where to draw the line between appropriate communications, and TMI. Here is what I came up with:
Scenario 1: No one reads my book, so no one cares what I post on my blog. Obviously, this pathetic excuse is completely lacking in the self-esteem department. If I don’t believe in the value of my work, absolutely, positively, no one else will.
Scenario 2: I think the movie Fletch is absurd. I like to play Christmas music all year round. I am obsessed with antique quilts. I have a recurring nightmare about being trapped in an elevator with an angry bee. What do any of those things have to with a blog about the business end of self-publishing? Yep, you guessed it. A big fat nothing.
Scenario 3: My book sells in wild, unimaginably high numbers. Some interviewer digs up an old post and asks me on live television if I still refer to my sister’s menstruation cycle as “shark week.” While my book sales don’t seem to be affected, my extended family holds a secret meeting and votes unanimously to stick me with Thanksgiving dish duty for the rest of my life. Did I mention there are forty-three of us?
Scenario 4: Instead of confining my impressions of an event to a blog post, elements of what happened become the basis for an entire novel. While not all that’s told is meant to be a story, all stories are meant to be told. Honor the difference, and then get thee to a keyboard.
Are you a self-published author thinking about creating a blog? Remember to plan ahead, and to clearly define your goals and boundaries. Use discretion, kindness, and your smarts.
When temptation runs its practiced hand over the soft spot in your willpower, remember these imaginary words from the real Elizabeth Taylor: “Diamonds, and the internet, are forever.”
How do you want your forever to read?
Posted by A Priya In Washington at 9/23/2011 10:02 AM 
Categories: Ashley's Blog
Tags: Ashley Barron authors dcPriya eBook Marketing Selfpublishing blog A Priya in Washington
Categories: Ashley's Blog
Tags: Ashley Barron authors dcPriya eBook Marketing Selfpublishing blog A Priya in Washington
This is so good!! I love your writing style so much. Only dissapointed that this one is so short. wish more people had your discretion.
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"When temptation runs its practiced hand over the soft spot in your willpower.."
Yes, THAT is the kind of sentence I would pay money to own.
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Hi Ashley, nice post. I want to read that post re single and looking, even it is only about books!
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So very true, there are stories that happen every day you want to share, but you do need to stop and think. While the story might be fun if it isn't all about you, you never realize who you might offend.
With the distance a keyboard and the internet provides, it happens a lot that we share more than we should. I think we can all be guilty of it at times.
It never hurts though, before you press that publish button, that you are sure you're happy to have that floating on the net for all time. Thanks for the reminder!
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